Thursday, September 30, 2010

508 : Chinese Adam and Eve

   

 Aarumon : Because of one Apple we lost the Paradise...


Tintumon : If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in Paradise


Aarumon : How...?


Tintumon : Because they would have eaten the Snake instead of that bloody Apple

 

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

507 : Guess what..?

  
Tintumon : Tell the time when MAN start sweating in 10 minutes & WOMAN want to go On & On.. ?

Aarumon : You naughty...??

Tintumon : What.....I mean Shopping only...

506 : English Translation

  

English Teacher : Translate the following sentence.....Oru vedikku randu pakshi
 

Tintumon : A prostitute for two birds

 

505 : Lost 100 Rs

   

Teacher : Why are you late..?

Tintumon : There was a man in the bus stop who lost a hundred Rupees note.

Teacher : Oh.  so you were helping him to find it..?
 
Tintumon : No. I was standing over it....!!
 

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

504 : Marriage is like..??

   

Aarumon : Marriage is like a special event

Tintumon : No, Marriage is like a public toilet 

Aarumon : How...?

Tintumon : Those waiting outside are desperate to get in

&

Those inside are desperate to come out.

 

Monday, September 27, 2010

503 : Suffering from

  

Thalakku kayyum koduthirikkunna Tintumonodu head master

Head master : Are you sick....? suffering from fever....?

Tintumon : No I amTintumon… suffering from maths teacher…!!

502 : Favourite Book

  

Teacher : All of you should have reading Habit...

Students : Yes teacher..

Teacher : Good, which is your favorite book...?

Aarumon : The tempest

Dundumol : Chemmeen

Tintumon : Dad's cheque book...!!

501 : Nalla Kutty

   

Amma : Nee entha innu nerathe schoolil ninnu ponnathu..??

Tintumon : Classil Teacher chodicha chodyathinu njan utharam paranjathu kondu enne nerathe vittu..

Amma : Aano nalla kutty, aatte enthayirunnu chodyam..??

Tintumon : Ara duster kondu teachere erinjhathennu...!!!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

500 : Right Answer

  

Teacher : 1000kg oru ton...apol 3000 kg ethrayaa...??

Tintumon : TON..TONA TON............!!!


499 : Standard Question

  

In maths exam Tintumon got one question.
 
Prove
 
SinX = 6n

Tintumon canceled "n" from both the sides

Then 

Six = 6

hence the proof

and wrote
 
Kurachu standard ulla question vekkadae

498 : Rape

  

Tintumon : Yesterday I saved a girl from rape

Aarumon : How...????

.

.

Tintumon : Self control machu, self control...!!! 

497 : Dinesh Beedi

  

CPIM Minister at Anniversary function

 

Minister : khadi thuni industry valare nashtathilanu, athukondu schoolil khadi thuni uniform prolsahippikanam...


Tintumon : Sir DINESH BEEDI yum nashtathilanu. . . !! 

 

Saturday, September 25, 2010

496 : No Third World War Please

   

Tintumon praying at church

Tintumon : God, keep peace on earth so that no third world war is going to happen

The priest heard this and asked Tintumon

Priest : Very good boy, You really follow the path of Christ

Tintumon : No Father, I am so weak in History and I can’t study another war..that's why... 

495 : Wanna be Doctor Because

   

Teacher : What do you want to become...?

Tintumon : Doctor

Teacher : Good, tell me why did you select this profession...?

Tintumon : Because it is the only profession where you can tell a woman to take off her dress and ask her husband to pay for it…!!

494 : Kannada Veckunnath Eppol..?

 

Teacher : Entha Tintu njan varumbol matram kannada veckunnathu...?


Tintumon : Doctor paranju thalavedhana varumpol matram kannada veckaan..!!

493 : Initials Change

   

Tintumon : Delhiyil ethiyaal Initials purakil aakunna manthriyude peru parayaamo..?

Aarumon : Aaaa..ariyilla...

Tintumon : G Sudakaran (Sukagarangi at Delhi)

Friday, September 24, 2010

492 : Great Thoughts Again

  

Ningalkku enne kollam.... pakshe tholpikkan avilla : Cheguvra


Ningalkku enne padippikkam but jayipikkan avilla : Tintumon

491 : Law of equilibrium of Books

  

Tintumon's Law of equilibrium of Books

Every Book continues to be in it’s State of Rest or covered with Dust, until and unless a mid-term 0r final exam arrives...

490 : Laziness

  

Teacher : Laziness is the mother of all bad habits.. 

Tintumon : But ultimately she is a mother and so we should respect her…!!

 

489 : Kumbhasaaram

   

Tintumon : Acho njan kanakku pareeksha kazhinju varikaya, enikku kumbasaarikkanam....!

Achan : Pareekshakku nee copy adicho mone...?

Tintumon : Allacho, Njan cheytha kanakku muzhuvanum thettaa…!

 

Thursday, September 23, 2010

488 : Who will Escape

  

Dundumon : Imagine if Achumama, Chennithala, Pinarayi, Oommen Chandi, Kodiueri, Karunakaran, Baby evareallam oru boatil pokunnu,...Boat mungiyal aaru rakshapedum... ?

Tintumon : Keralam.... !!! 

487 : Veg-Non Veg



Teacher : Define Vegetarian and Non vegetarian

Tintumon : Chicken shopil chicken thookki ittirikkunnathu kandu kannil vellam vannal Vegetarian….Vayil vellam vannal Non Vegetarian..

Monday, September 20, 2010

486 : Eazy ways

   

At shop :

Tintumon : 25 roopayude ari 2 kg, 50 roopayude enna 1/2 litre, 20 roopayude soap 5 ennam, motham ethra aavum chetta..... ?

Shop keeper : Total 175..... Pack cheyyatte mone... ?

Tintumon : Venda chetta..”ho! angane innathe home work theernnu....!!!”

 

Thursday, September 16, 2010

485 : Two great Kings

  

Teacher : Can you tell the name of two great kings who have brought happiness & peace in to people’s lives...?

Tintumon : Smo-king & Drin-king..

484 : Law of Love by Tintumon

 

" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transferred from one Girl friend to another "

483 : Why girls close eyes while kissing

  

Aarumon : Da ee Girlsine umma vakkumbol avar kannadachu pidikkunnadhu enth kondaa...?

Tintumon : Adhanganeya.. nammal boys sandhoshikkunnadhu avarku kanneduthal kandooda

482 : Most Studious

  

Achan : Monte classil eattavum nannayi padikunnathara...??

Tintumon : Ennu vechal...??

Achan : Oru utharavum thettathe parayunnathu...

Tintumon : Athu Teachara....!!!

 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

481 : Madras Mail or Parasuram

   

Marriage Broker : +2 veno..?..MBA veno..?...Nurse veno..?

Tintumon : Theevandi’kku thala vekkumbo Madras mailano, Parasuramano ennu nokkano chetta...? 

480 : Hitler

  

In History Class,

Teacher : Hitlerinte full name enthanu..?

Aarumon : I don't know

Tintumon : (raising his hands) Njan parayam..

Teacher : Sheri Parayu..

Tintumon : Hitler Madhavan Kutty

479 : Pukavali Paadilla

  

Teacher : Translate the following into english."Ivide Pugavali Padilla"

Tintumon : Here Smoking Sing Not

478 : Definition of School

  

Definition of School by Tintumon 

"A place where Parents pay and children play"

477 : Taj Mahal

  

Dundumol : How much do you love me...?

Tintumon : Yea like SHAJAHAN

Dundumol : Then when will you build TAJMAHAL for me..?

Tintumon : Already purchasd land now Waiting for you to die...

Monday, September 13, 2010

476 : Moockilla Raajyath

  

Tintumonte Answer Sheet

Q 1. Changathi nannaayaal.........?

Ans. Changathikku kollam...!

Q 2. Mookkilla rajyathu.............?

Ans. Jaladhosham illa...! 

 

475 : Definition of Chammal

 

Definition of chammal by Master Tintumon

"Chammal is the Vingal of the mind & Mangal of the face..!!!" 

474 : Only 62 Kg

    

Tintumon Achanod : Abdul Nasar Madani ye banglore police thookki...

Achan : Ennittu maricho....???

Tintumon : Aey... Only 62 kg.....

 

473 : Sooji illatha Injection

  

 

Doctor : Nee budhi ullavanano..?

Tintumon : Yes...

Doctor : Engil ninne pallillatha naya kadichal enthu cheyyum..?


Tintumon : Sooji illathe injection edukkum..!!!

 

 

472 : Bhoomi Karangunna Sathyam

  

Tintumon : Chila sathyangal angeekarikkan patunnadhu kure madhyam kudikkumbol aanu..

AarumonEthu sathyam...?

Tintumon : Bhoomi karangunnund enna sathyam...!!

471 : Arayum Thudayum

  

Veetil panik vanna velakariyod Tintumon : Ninak enthoke pani ariyam..?


Velackari : Arakanum,thudakanum ellam ariyam 

 

Tintumon : Ennal ninte arayum thudayumoke onnu kaaniche..!!

 

 

Sunday, September 12, 2010

470 : Mugal Kalagattam

  

Teacher : Mugal kalagattam yethu muthal yethu vareyanu..?

Tintumon : Page number 14 muthal 21 vare....!

469 : Dadi Ennu Vilichal

  

Teacher : Tintumon Achaneyum Ammayeyum Entha Vilikunnath..?

Tintumon : Dadi

Teacher : Randu Pereyum Dadi Enno...?

Tintumon : Achane “Da” Ennum...Ammaye “Di” Ennum..!!

468 : Jeansum Topum Super



Bus stopil nilkunna penkuttiye kanda Tintumon

Tintumon : Belt nannayittundu..!

Lady : Oori onnu thannalundallo..

Tintumon : Jeansum Topum Super ayittundu….!!

467 : Minnalum Mazhayum

 

Teacher : Mazha peyyumbol minnal undakunnathu enth kondu...?

Tintumon : Mazha ellayidathum orupole kittunudo ennariyan daivam Torch adichu nokkunatha...!!!

466 : Bike Accident



Tintumon went to hospital with bleeding head

Nurse : Admit cheyyanam peru parayu...

Tintumon : Tintu

Nurse : Date of birth..?

Tintumon : 27.03.1985

Nurse : Maarried....?

Tintumon : No, Bike accident...!!!

465 : Export of India

  

Teacher : Japanil ninnum kooduthal export cheyyunnath enthaa..?

Pinkumol : Automobiles

Teacher : Chinayil ninno....?

Aarumon : Electronics
 
Teacher : India yil ninno...?

Tintumon : Malayalees...!!

464 : Master Key

  

Dundumol : It’s unfair that if a guy having affair with a different girl every week,he’s a legend, but if a girl has affair with just two guys in a year, she’s a bad girl.

Tintumon : If a key opens lots of locks, then it’s a master key, But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it’s a bad lock....!!

 

Saturday, September 11, 2010

463 : Lord Krishna's Birth Place

  

Parolil irangi busil pokuvaayirunna Tintumon oru Swamiye kandu mutti...

Tintumon : Where do you live...?

Swami : Lord Ram’s birth place, Ayodhya..! 

Tintumon : Great

Swami : Where do you live...?

TintumonLord Krishna's birth place,...... Jail...!!

462 : Pencils' Meet

  

Tintumon : If two pencils meet each other what they will ask first

Aarumon : Aaa..I don't know

Tintumon : You are Looking Sharp..!!

 

461 : Moothram ozhickaanda

   

Dundumon : Innu door thurannappol lock kayyil ponnu, suitcase pidichappol handle kayyil ponnu. enthaanaavo...?

Tintumon : Innu moothram ozhikkandatta enna...!!

460 : Pavappettavare Snehickanam

   

Amma : Nammal paavapettavarodu snehathode idapezhuganam…

Tintumon : Chummathalla Achan velakkariyodu snehathode idapezhugunnund…nalla Achan...!!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

459 : Woman vs Magnet

  

Dundumon : What is the difference between a woman and a magnet...? 

Tintumon : Magnets have a positive side..!!

The best Tintumon Jokes that you should never miss